So You Want To Make Some Changes

       So you want to make some changes. 

        Are you clear about what you want

        to change and  how you prefer to be. 

        For example,
       "I want to stop biting  my fingernails."
        Or, "I want to cut back on smoking." 

 

        Do you have a clear picture in your mind

        of yourself when you stop biting or smoke less?
     
         Can you imagine what emotions you will have
         when you see longer healthy nails?
         When  you say "No!" to that cigarette? 

 

         And can you imagine what how your body will feel 
         each time you have a victory?

         Now the work begins. It starts with
         your ability to stay focused on your goal.
         I call this "sustained focus." 

          In my next blog, I'll discuss how to create
          "sustained focus." In the meantime, think
          about what you want, how it will look,
          what emotion you will feel, and how your
          body will feel when you succeed. 

          Remember this. Whatever you focus on
          will get you more of the same.

Psychological Discomfort

Here's a question for you. How willing are you to
endure discomfort in order to grow and improve?

Many of us watch our diet, get enough sleep, or
workout everyday in order to look and feel better.
Are we willing to make the same effort in order
to grow and improve psychologically?

Improving and growing psychologically includes
successfully managing: stress, negative emotions,
unreal or painful thoughts and pictures in our mind,
and desires that hurt us or others.

Here's a little scale to help us measure how willing
we are to endure psychological discomfort. Most of
us will fall somewhere between zero - NO and 5 - YES. 

Zero (0) = "NO! I'm not at all willing to be inconven-
                       ienced or feel bad in order to grow
                       psychologically."
Five (5) = "YES, I'm totally willing to be inconven-
                       ienced or feel bad in order to grow
                       psychologically."

                 HOW DO YOU RATE YOURSELF?
                  NO     0 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5   YES

This is simple idea, a simple scale, and a simple
question. But exposing your willingness to tolerate
discomfort in order to grow psychologically could
reveal a lot. It's worth a thought or two. You
might even change your life.

You Too Can Rewire Your Brain

           
                Become a "rewired overcomer"---
                   the person you were meant to be

        Rewire the lighting in your dining room,
        rewire your brain? They're similar. How?
        It all starts with our will, mind, emotions,
        and body. These are our inward reactions. 
        I call them our *"Cubi".

 

        Awareness and good management of our 'Cubi"

        is critical if we want to make changes.In fact,

        conscious rewiring always starts with our will.

        First, we decide what we want to change/rewire:

        the lighting in our dining room, our smoking addic-
        tion, our fear of having a baby. 

 

       Then we move on to get a clear and realistic
       picture in our mind of how the new lighting
       looks, what happens when we no longer 
       smoke, how having a baby changes our life. 

 

        Now we are ready to check in with our
        emotions. This is critical. If negative emo-
        tions are attached to our picture, we will
        be in conflict.      

      

        Ah conflict! We might as well stop the
        process and go back to the drawing board.
        Before we can go any further, we need to
        work through the conflict. Consider the 
        Choice-Cube Method and **"crossing the bridge".

         But let's say we have nothing by positive
         emotions, joy, excitement, hope, sat-
         isfaction. We're not in conflict. Now 
         we are ready to use our body to take
         action.

 

        We do something positive. Get a hammer, 
           crush that cigarette and get  a plan, talk things

           over with our spouse and choose a baby's name.

           We start small. *The important thing is to recognize

           conflict, manage it, and move on.  
         
         Rewiring has begun. We will have to repeat
         this "will, mind, emotions, and body" process.
         But we stay focused. Even though we confront
         and manage conflict, we focus on, and enjoy, 
         the fruit of our positive actions.

         Conflict diminishes; joy; satisfaction  increases. And with repetition, we  become  "rewired overcomers"---the person we were meant to be.
                      
       *  See my website www.choicecube.com 

     **  Research shows that acting "as if" is another  powerful way  to rewire our brain. However,  even acting "as if", requires that we
manage the reactions of our body, emotions, mind, and will---our "Cubi."

Our Journey from Shadow to Light

       From Victim-Victimizer through Psychologically Healthy

                                                 to Spiritually Awake

        We are all on a life-time journey from shadow to light. This journey challenges us daily,

        even moment-to-moment, to become the best of who we are---the person

        we were meant to be.

       First, we stop reacting to life as victims or victimizers. As victims we see others

       as trying to fix, hurt, or control us. As victimizers, we seek to fix, hurt, or control others.

      Often we swing between the two. 

      Next, we become psychologically healthy. We stop blaming or trying to control

     others. Instead, we take full responsibility for what we think, feel, and do. We see truth and compassion as the way

    
      to  solve our problems. And we change the one

      person we can change, ourselves!

  

     Finally, we recognize that we are more than
     body, emotions, thoughts, and desires. We 
     awaken spiritually and find God, the "Divine",

     or our Higher Power.       

 

     On our journey, we work through unresolved
     life issues that keep us reacting as victims,
     or victimizers, stuck in the shadows. We
     become increasingly psychologically healthy
     and empowered. And as we seek God, we
     awaken spiritually. Increasingly, we live in

     the light and become the person we were meant to be.

Power to Live Longer?

          How you live your life may give you power
          to live longer. Do you tend to be: Active,
          emotionally calm, organized? Or do you tend
          to be:  Anxious, angry, fearful?

          Emotional stability and a wisely active life-
          style "can reduce health risks, increase life
          satisfaction and significantly extend life." 
          suggests The Baltimore Longitudinal
          Study on Aging.

          This study by the National Institute of Aging
          in Baltimore, Maryland was based on 50 years
          of assessing the personality traits of 2,359
          generally healthy participants between the 
          ages of 17 and 98.

         The study found that the most signif-
         icant predictors of death were traits
         of emotional instability such as: anger,
         depression, feelings of vulnerability,
         and anxiety. 

        According to Dr. Antonio Terracciano, lead

       study author, these findings add to the growing

       reseach indicating that,  "enduring cognitive,

       emotional and behavioral tendencies (personality

        traits) have significant influence on health and longevity." 

          You have choice. You can change. And it
          seems that how you choose and change can 
          give you power to live longer with greater
          satisfaction.