How many times a day do you need to take a deep breath to buy some time or clear your head and refocus? When you need to refocus, give the “Miracle Breath” a try. This simple little breathing exercise can help you get out of the parts of your brain that control fear and desire and get you back into your frontal cortex. Frontal cortex? What’s that? That’s the part of your brain that helps you think clearly and plan ahead. It’s right there behind the bones of your forehead.Read More
Emotions are energy and like a cold they can be “caught.” The more intimately connected you are to a person, the more vulnerable you are to being affected by his or her e-motions (energy in motion). There's always the danger that you may subconsciously take on feelings they deny, stuff them into your subconscious, and then unwittingly express them as if they were your own.
Luis's Story.. Luise and his wife Tina are a case in point. Luis, a handsome 45- year-old, was an angry person who denied his anger. He was known as a “nice guy.” His wife, Tina, seemed to be the angry one.
Eventually, Tina went into therapy for help with “her” anger. She worked hard in therapy and learned that she could choose whether or not to be angry. When she started to manage her anger, a strange thing happened: Luis started acting like one angry guy.
All those years, Tina had subconsciously carried and expressed Luis’s stuffed anger. Now that her feelings of anger were under control, she no longer expressed his rage for him. This forced him to express it himself, and Mr. Nice Guy, to everyone’s surprise, started having unexplained temper flare-ups.
Are you struggling with a carried feeling reality? When you work with your emotions, stay open to the possibility that you, too may be struggling with a carried feeling reality (also called limbic resonance or “tanking”) You may have made someone’s denied feelings your own and now find yourself expressing them.
Brad's Story. Brad had an unreasonable terror of drowning from early childhood. He learned in therapy that his fear was a “carried feeling reality” that he had taken on from his mother. His mother, as a child, saw her own baby sister drown and couldn’t save her. To deal with the tragedy, his mom stuffed her feelings of grief, and guilt over her little sister’s death. She never resolved that issue and unconsciously, had passed those emotions on to her son who now had an unexplained fear of drowning.
What about you? Are you possibly carrying someone’s emotionally energy for them? Do you want to make some changes? It is always possible to do something different. You can retrain yourself, change and grow, and engage life more fully.
If you want to understand yourself better as well as seeing the research behind iwhat you learn, take a look at Become the Person You Were Meant to Be – The Choice-Cube Method: Step by Step to Choice and Change. The book can increase your self-understanding and also provide 4 Key Steps and simple Tools or techniques to help you get unstuck, change, move toward becoming the person you were meant to be.
THE BRAIN REWIRES ITSELF CONSTANTLY
Current brain research shows that your brain is capable of rewiring itself based on your experiences. Understanding this concept of “neuroplasticity” can give you hope that it’s never too late to change what you are experiencing. It’s never too late to discover your true identity as a gifted and healthy-best-real-self. It’s never too late to find a meaningful purpose for your life.
DO YOU OPERATE FROM YOUR STRENGTHS?
LIke all humans, you will be the healthiest, joyful, and most successful when you operate from your unique area of giftedness. Failure to know and use your gifts forces you to function in a brain quadrant that is not your gift and requires greater expenditure of energy. PET scans show that your brain may need to work 100 times harder when you are using skills outside of your natural talents and strengths.
YOU'LL HAVE PROBLEMS IF YOU DON'T
This is stressful and can lead to fatigue, a lowered immune system, and trouble with your memory as a result of stress related cortisol release. Often there is a tendency to isolate and self-medicate. Ignoring your areas of talent and your strengths can undermine your confidence, self-esteem, and sense of self-worth. It can hide away the best of who you are—your healthy-best-real-self.
TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR HEALTHY-BEST-REAL-SELF
Your healthy-best-real-self is the authentic, honest, compassionate, and curious part of you that sees reality clearly and is a problem-solver. When you express your healthy self, you set good boundaries with others but can also be intimate. You strive for excellence, not as a perfectionist, but from your personal best. Your life reflects balance and joyfulness. You want to make a positive difference in the world.
WHY SUCH LOSSES?
You may have these two treasures of giftedness and a healthy-best-real-self buried under stress, fear, fatigue, pain, addiction, anxiety, and depression. Difficult circumstances and the struggles of life may have led to unwise choices so that now you feel stuck, unable to break free. Life may feel like a prison that robs you of your freedom and keeps you from discovering who you really are.
Problems may have become the focus of your life. Perhaps you find yourself on a deadly merry-go-round where just getting through the day and overcoming problems have become your “purpose.” The danger is that focusing on problems and difficulties leads to more issues and to self-defeat. Remember, whatever you focus on gets you more of the same. It’s time to change your focus and become your own best friend instead of your your own worst enemy.
A FIRST STEP
Consider finding a challenge and a meaningful purpose in life that flows from your innate talents and strengths and from the best of who you are—your healthy best real self. Yes, this may take effort, but think of this as short-term pain that leads to long-term gain. It’s never too late.
Using the Choice-Cube Method for Choice and Change can help clear away blockages that hide your talents and strengths. You can discover your healthy, best-real-self.
Check out Become the Person You Were Meant to Be - The Choice-Cube Method: Step by Step to Choice and Change on Amazon http://amzn.to/n0ztzX, Barnes&Noble http://bit.ly/16F3Dhi, and IndieBound http://bit.ly/ZoTPsk
Before you begin:
1. Put yourself on a Stress Scale 0-10. Zero is totally relaxed. Ten is totally tense.
2. Slow down your breathing and inflate an imaginary balloon in your belly. Then let the air out, slowly and gently.
3. Continue to breathe slowly and deeply while you scan down your body as follows:
- Relax between your eyes; stop frowning.
- Relax your upper lip and the inside of your mouth and tongue
- Drop your shoulders
- Relax the palms of your hands
- Relax your knees
- Maintain the slow deep breathing, filling and emptying the balloon.
- Move your attention to your feet. Feel the ground pressing up against the soles of your feet, and imagine them getting wider and longer.
- Now, repeat the body scan, and as you do, let all tension drain down and out through the roots to the gently flowing river of life beneath them:
- Relax the space between your eyes.
- Relax your upper lip, tongue, and insides of your mouth.
- Drop the shoulders.
- Relax the palms of your hands.
- Relax your knees.
- Feel the ground beneath your feet.
- Grow the roots.
- All tension drains down through the roots to the river and is swept away gently as the river flows and carries away your stress.
When you do this exercise you train your brain to be fully aware of your physical state. Regular repetition of this exercise teaches teach you how to interrupt stress before it overcomes you and changes your brain.
Do you want to feel this good all the time?
Now you can! Dr. Beth Cujé, therapist and author of the book Become the Person You Were Meant to Be, gives you the chance to download its first chapter for FREE. This exercise is just one of many life-changing tools you will learn in it. Just click here and confirm what the Choice-Cube Method can do for you.