How often have you found that no matter how hard you try to be more loving, or patient, less angry or anxious you can't do it? Maybe you try for a while then just give up.
Do you know why changing seems so difficult? It's because of the automatic reactions of your body (stress), emotions, mind, and will/desires. Call them your inward reactions that come from your subconscious mind.
Truth be told, you can become so accustomed to certain negative reactions that you no longer even recognize their automatic take over of your life.
The problem may be that you fail to pay attention to them, you recognize them but don't know how to change them.
Usually, negative inward reactions are the result of past painful “unfinished business.” When situations are too painful to face, it's only human to avoid the pain or discomfort, So you locked away that information, or parts of it, in your subconscious mind.
Now, when something triggers those unresolved thoughts and feelings, they take over, To expose and change them now will require a deliberate, conscious effort.
There are many approaches to change. If however, you want change that lasts, you must always change all four inward reactions--bodily stress, emotions, thoughts, and desires.
What is your task? Part of changing your inward reactions demands making your subconscious conscious. But, you may ask, “Why? Isn’t it better to just leave painful things alone? Why bring it all back to the surface?”
The answer is, that unless you make something conscious, that information—memories, words, pictures in your mind—and energy—body sensations, emotions--sit in you like bad, rotting food poisoning your whole system.
You may be rolling along when something--a sound or smell, a picture--triggers that hidden information and energy. Automatically, those old thoughts, feelings and desires stream into awareness as if no time had passed. Unless you have tools to do something different, you will repeat all the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of the earlier wounding. You will believe the same old lies and make the same mistakes, over and over.
How do you make something conscious and change? Hopefully, you realize that you don’t want to keep making the same mistakes. You want to change. But how do you change? Start by committing to staying aware of your body sensations and emotions.
Usually, your mind is not your friend when dealing with a habit that has become subconscious and automatic, ! It just gets in the way. It may be telling you things are okay, while your body--your gut--is saying, “Watch out!”
At moments like this, your conscious mind is not what you should be paying attention to. If you are wise, you will learn to pay attention to your inward reactions as signals from your subconscious. Once you are aware of them, if you have the tools, you can change them immediately, and, with repetition, permanently.
Changing your inward reactions is the fastest way to lasting change! Even more, changing your inward reactions is the fastest way to lasting change.
Here's some good news. When you know how to recognize negative inward reactions, you can use the tools you have to change them. In the process, you will retrain your body and mind, including the hard-wiring of your brain. You will stop repeating the same mistakes.
Furthermore, when you change your inward reactions, you can change your deep beliefs and can choose your behaviors.
In my book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be - The Choice-Cube Method, you will find, among other things, a Checklist, Tools, and 4 Steps to help you recognize, and change your inward reactions, which opens the door to changing your deep beliefs and choosing your behaviors. Click here http://amzn.to/Xw2YMZ to see inside the book.
You can retrain yourself, change, grow, and engage life more fully.