One More Battle Won – Repeated Anger

My repeated anger becomes a choking rope 

That coils around my body, brain, and soul. 

Swiftly shifting “fact“ to “fact,”

I blot out love, compassion… with corrupt control and

Connect distorted dots into an old distorted whole.

I struggle to make meaning, but collapse.

A double-bind!  

Could I win?   Perhaps. Then, No! I can only lose. 

For deceived, I believe that leaving anger means I lose.

Yet my constant anger also means I stand accused of sin and lose!

For in repeated anger there’s no faith! No healing, gratitude, or hope,

Only the tormenting, whipping-winding rope.

“Who will deliver me from this body of sin and death?”  The answer comes. 

He will! *

Anger recedes. Hope returns. One more battle won

On this daunting journey out of shadow to the Son,

Out of sin to faith and trust in the Three-In-One.                              

*I fully commit to being a doer of the Word, not a hearer only deceiving myself. (James 1:22)

 I will confess my anger and not let hold on to it (and give place to the devil.)  (Ephesians 4:26)

 I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding, 

    but in all my ways I acknowledge him. He will direct my paths.  (Proverbs 3:5-6) 

Dr. Beth Blevins Cuje'  April 8, 2014

Feel free to share this poem. Please do not make any changes and do note me as the author.

One More Battle Won – Repeated Anger

My repeated anger becomes a choking rope 

That coils around my body, brain, and soul. 

Swiftly shifting “fact“ to “fact,”

I blot out love, compassion… with corrupt control and

Connect distorted dots into an old distorted whole.

I struggle to make meaning, but collapse.

A double-bind!  

Could I win?   Perhaps. Then, No! I can only lose. 

For deceived, I believe that leaving anger means I lose.

Yet my constant anger also means I stand accused of sin and lose!

For in repeated anger there’s no faith! No healing, gratitude, or hope,

Only the tormenting, whipping-winding rope.

“Who will deliver me from this body of sin and death?”  The answer comes. 

He will! *

Anger recedes. Hope returns. One more battle won

On this daunting journey out of shadow to the Son,

Out of sin to faith and trust in the Three-In-One.                              

*I fully commit to being a doer of the Word, not a hearer only deceiving myself. (James 1:22)

 I will confess my anger and not let hold on to it (and give place to the devil.)  (Ephesians 4:26)

 I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding, 

but in all my ways I acknowledge him. He will direct my paths.  (Proverbs 3:5-6) 

Author's Note: Feel free to share this poem. Please do not make any changes and do note me as the author: Dr. Beth Blevins Cuje'  April 8, 2014 

What the Placebo Effect Can Teach Us about Our Mental States

People who rely on antidepressants to go on about their daily lives may be in for a bit of a shock at the revelation that follows. The benefits they obtain from the drugs they take may be – quite simply – only the results of the “placebo effect.”

What’s The Placebo Effect? The placebo effect happens when a sugar pill, for example, is substituted for the anticipated medication. In reality patients receive no medication; they just believed they did. And they feel better because they expect to feel better.

Quite the shocker, right? Recently, Irving Kirsch, of the Harvard Medical School and Beth Israel Deaconess, shared the result of his research, which basically makes a case for this very point.

Some Research According to Kirsch, the pharmaceutical companies that produce Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft had to repeat many clinical trials before they could obtain the minimum number of positive results necessary for FDA approval.

The numerous trials that failed to show positive results from the medication simply revealed no significant results. But even more interesting, the clinical trials that turned out positive revealed results that were barely significant.

On this basis, Kirsch suggests that subjects who experienced benefits from these drugs obtained them from the placebo effect rather than from the drugs themselves.

Now, what does this say about the power of our mental states?

The Mind-Body Connection Without a doubt, there is a vital link between our mental states and our physical health. Mental states affect our bodies and vice versa. It’s the typical case of the person allergic to cats who starts sneezing the moment he/she sets foot in the apartment of someone who has a cat.

But what if this person is merely reacting to the thought of a cat hair-filled apartment – in other words, reacting with his mind instead of his body? Just imagine… it’s possible that our fear alone (fear of cat hair or fear of germs) can cause physical symptoms!

In another blog I explained how emotional states send physical messages to the body through proteins called neuropeptides. These bodily messages may be linked to negative or positive attitudes that affect us physically.

But one thing is certain…working through negative attitudes and mental states and choosing to deal with negative feelings in a healthy way may do wonders for us. We may even realize we don’t need the meds anymore.

Want to find out more about a way to treat depression that does not involve popping pills? In my book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be, I set forth tools and steps to help you move into the light and away from depression. You can download its first chapter for FREE. Just go to my homepage and follow the directions.

How To Stop Destroying A Relationship

Are you having trouble with a relationship? Do you keep repeating the same arguments without resolving them? Are you destroying the relationship?

Take a look at the following scriptures and then at some suggestions for resolving your problem.

• Don’t be a hypocrite! First clean the inside of your cup and dish that the outside of them may be clean also. --  Matthew: 23:25 

• Take the log out of your eye before you try to take the speck out of your brother’s (son, daughter-in-law, husband, friend) eye. -- Ephesians 4:25-27 

• Speak the truth in love. -- Ephesians 4:15 

• Be angry but do not sin: do not let the sun set on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. -- Ephesians: 4:26-28 

If you have tried and failed to keep these commandments, you may be hurting pretty bad. But getting stuck in anger or guilt doesn’t fix the issue. 

BEING HUMAN GETS IN YOUR WAY;    You are a human being. You may be a Christian and want to do God’s will, but when you are very stressed and upset, you are more likely to just react, based on what you feel, think, and need. Why? Because you are human with a human body and an imperfect mind that take over when you get stressed and upset.

Jesus was able to always listen to God and do exactly what Father told him to do. You, on the other hand may start with this desire, but unless you have trained your body and mind to stay focused on God, you will find it almost impossible to keep his peace and joy and to do his will.

Yes, sometimes you may go numb and feel as if you are in control. But when you are numb, you are not in a position to resolve issues.

Also, because you have repeated the same reactions over and over, you have now made it more likely that you will have the same reactions and do the very same things the next time the issue surfaces.

Why not try something different? 

SOMETHING DIFFERENT:  I suggest, that as soon as you feel yourself begin to react the old way, you:

• Take a deep breath, 

• Drop your shoulders and unclench your fists, wiggle your toes

• Take another deep breath,

• Step back and relax.

Now,

• Pay close attention to your emotions. Doing this will make it easier to do what God’s Word says. Here’s why.

When you are feeling stressed and angry, anxious, ashamed, or overwhelmed, stress and your negative emotions lock in distortions and limitations in your thinking. At the same time, stress and your negative emotions hide the whole truth from you.

This separates you from God. (God never turns his back on you, you just can’t hear him.)  In this state of being, you cannot see the big picture and it is almost impossible to make wise decisions.  

BECOME AN “OBJECTIVE OBSERVER”:       On the other hand, if you “do something different (see above),” you become an “objective observer” of what is happening to you at that moment. 

As an “objective observer” you are more able to control what you focus on. (Your focus determines your level of stress and negative emotions.)

As a conscious observer, you have choice. Now, instead of staying focused on the person, thing, action, or problem that is causing you trouble, you can choose to focus on God and do things his way. 

Start by dealing with your stress. Then label your negative emotions and let go of them. (There are tools for this.) This liberates your mind to see all sides of reality—the big picture and to refocus on God and on his Word. Believe me, whatever you focus on, harmful or helpful, will get you more of it!

As a conscious observer managing your focus, the goal is to “speak the truth in love.” 

Right?  You don’t have to go along with the other person. You don’t have to fix anything. You can disagree with him or her. But at this moment, you need to stop focusing on the person and the problem and focus on doing things God’s way in God’s time. (That may mean keeping your mouth shut for the moment.)

In my book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be – The Choice-Cube® Method,you can learn how to get rid of stress, let go of your negative emotions and shift your focus back to God and his Word. There are also some simple Choice-Cube tools to help you do this. If you want more information, check out my website www.choicecube.com.

Out With The Old - In With The New!

Time for a change!  Out with the old, limited way of seeing your life. In with a new, exciting view of life, one full of options and possibilities. Rewire your brain! 

It's time to stop thinking, feeling, and doing the same old things over and over. Time to choose to do something different!

It works like this. Each time you repeat a thought, emotion, or action, you go over pathways in your brain that carry the information and energy of that reaction.

Repeatedly going over the same nerve pathways is like repeatedly driving a car over the same dirt road. You create ruts in that road that deepen every time you drive over them. This makes them more likely to grab your tires and force you to stay in the rut.

In the same way, the more you repeat a thought, emotion, or action, the more power you give it to grab your mind and body, causing you to repeat those same reactions again and again. 

In fact ruts or pathways can become so deep that it seems easier to just to roll along and allow those ruts or familiar thoughts, feelings, and actions to control you. 

Here's where rewiring comes in. When you train yourself to stay aware and choose different reactions instead of old familiar ones, you interfere with the old ruts or nerve pathways. Richard Restak, in his 2003 book, The New Brain: How the Modern Age Is Rewiring Your Mind, says it this way.

The brain never loses the power to transform on the basis of experience, and this transformation can occur over very short intervals. For instance, your brain is different today than it was yesterday. This difference results from the effect on your brain of yesterday’s and today’s experiences, as well as the thoughts and feelings you’ve entertained over the past twenty-four hours. [pp. 7–8]

When you change your reactions, you can begin to create new, healthier pathways. And each time you do, you actually make changes to your brain. You rewire it.  

Out with the old. In with the new!  Let's get started. 

Want some help making changes. You might start with the Choice-Cube Assessment Quiz on this website. Or take a look at the book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be - The Choice-Cube Method: Step by Step to Choice and Change.  Happy New Year!