I’m a therapist who loves her clients, and “patience” is my middle name. Honestly, I never get impatient, disappointed maybe, but at work, my focus on finding a way to move beyond the problem of the moment keeps me from becoming impatient.
Waiting in line at the grocery store or the bank? Well, that was another story. I had to find a better way to deal with my feelings. Who needs that kind of stress?
Maybe you are wondering what I did to change from red hot to cool? Yes, very cool. It took quite a bit of effort and some time, but what I’m going to share with you really works.
Being honest with yourself is step one. Standing there in line, you have to admit to yourself that you are at best irritated and antsy, and at worst, you feel your head is going to explode. Not good. Right? Now, step two… Breathe. You might want to try The Miracle Breath Exercise that you can find in my website www.choicecube.com.
Step two slows you down so that you can hear what you are saying to yourself. Did you know that it’s the words you say to yourself, “These people are asking too long, I’ve got a million things to do. Why don’t the hurry up? This is dumb. That man is taking too long. I can’t stand it!" that are making you angry?
No, it’s not the long line, the lady with the frizzy blond hair and a thousand coupons, or the guy with a cold who just sneezed on your neck, Those things trigger your anger, but it’s the meaning you attach––your very own words––that are stressing you and causing you to feel angry.
If you can accept this, you are at what I call a “choice point.” Do you continue saying the same things to yourself making yourself feel angry and irritated? Or do you change your situation or shift your focus to something that allows you to change what you are saying to yourself?
Having a prearranged script to go with The Miracle Breath helps you shift your focus. My script is, “How is it that I have all the time I need and nothing is too much trouble for me?” Notice: I asked myself a question.
In my next blog, l will explain why asking yourself a question at a time like this is so powerful. But for now, try the Miracle Breath and consider finding something you could you say to yourself to slow you down and help you de-stress.