Your Inward Reactions And Your Subconscious Mind

How often have you found that no matter how hard you try to be more loving, or patient, less angry and judgmental, you can't do it? Or you do it for a while then fall back on your old behaviors. 

Change is so difficult because of your negative inward reactions. Inward reactions are the automatic reactions of your body (stress), emotions, mind, and will/desires.) You may have trouble with them because you don't pay attention to them. You may not know how to change them or even that they exist.

Usually, negative inward reactions are the result of past painful “unfinished business” that was too overwhelming to face. So you locked away some or all of that information in your subconscious mind.

But the experience and your reactions have not gone away. Something in the present (a sound, a smell, or a comment from a friend) can trigger those reactions. Then, only a real conscious effort will allow you to expose and change them. It's a lot like playing the tunes on a CD. Your inward reactions are the CD and you are the CD player. 

There are many approaches to change. If, however, you want change that lasts, you must always change those four inward reactions--bodily stress, emotions, thoughts, and desires. 

YOUR TASK.      Part of changing your inward reactions is to make what is subconscious conscious. Why? Isn’t it better to just leave these painful things alone? Why bring it all back to the surface? 

The answer is that unless you make some things conscious, they sit in you, like bad, rotting food, and poison your whole system. Then when something triggers them, you are doomed to have the same thoughts and feelings and desires, and to do the same things, one more time. You will make the same mistakes over and over. Hopefully, you realize that you don’t want to keep making the same mistakes. Also, you can't consciouly change something if you're not aware of it.

HOW DO YOU MAKE SOMETHING CONSCIOUS AND CHANGE? But how, you might ask, do you make something conscious and change? Start by staying aware of your inward reactions (body, emotions, mind, and will).  Your body sensations and emotions in particular are signals from your subconscious. Also. your mind is not always your friend. When you are really upset, note that your mind can get in the way, telling you things are okay, while your body--your gut--is saying, “Watch out!” 

THE FASTEST WAY TO LASTING CHANGE.      Not only is awareness of your inward reactions the way to your subconscious and to change, it is the fastest way to lasting change. And here's some good news. Once you know what to look for and can identify your reactions, you can use the tools you have to stop repeating the same mistakes and change.

You can retrain yourself to do some different--better for you and those you care for. When you change your inward reactions, you can change your deep beliefs and choose your behaviors. You actually rewire your brain.

In my book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be - The Choice-Cube Method, you will find, among other things, a mental checklist, tools, and 4 steps to help you recognize your inward reactions, change your deep beliefs, and choose your behaviors. Click here http://amzn.to/Xw2YMZ  to see inside the book.

You can retrain yourself, change, grow, and engage life more fully. 

Doomed To Make The Same Mistake One More Time?

JEN’S STORY.      Jen is plagued with feelings of guilt and regret. She can’t control her rage. Last night, she yelled at her youngest child again because he accidentally spilled his juice on a brand new tablecloth. She hates herself for it now.

She has promised herself over and over that she’ll never do that again. But then another little accident happens, which sends her over the edge. Her son is 5-years-old, for crying out loud! He’s still terribly clumsy, Jen understands that. Now. But she didn’t see it that way last night.

IS SHE DOOMED?      Is Jen doomed to react with rage? Is it simply who she is? Of course, not! She can change!

EASIER SAID THAN DONE.      But it’s easier said than done. What Jen doesn’t understand is that no matter how hard she tries to be more patient with her son she will not succeed unless she changes the beliefs and the inward reactions that cause her angry outbursts.

Her reactions (stress, negative emotions, thoughts and desires) and her angry behaviors result from some painful “unfinished business” and distorted beliefs -- things too painful to bear locked away in her subconscious mind. Only a real conscious effort will enable her to change them.

JEN'S TASK.      Her task is to make what is subconscious conscious. But why? Isn’t it better to just leave these painful things alone? Why bring it all back to the surface?

The answer is that unless we make some things conscious, we are doomed to make the same mistakes over and over. Hopefully, there comes a time when we realize we don’t want to keep making the same mistakes. We want to change.

HOW DO WE MAKE SOMETHING CONSCIOUS?      But how do we make something conscious? I suggest that we start with staying aware of our body sensations and emotions. Usually, when dealing with the subconscious, our mind is not our friend! It just gets in the way. Our mind may be telling us things are okay, but our body--our gut--is saying, “Watch out!”

At moment like this, our conscious mind is not what we should be paying attention to. If we are wise, we will learn to pay attention to signals from our subconscious that surface as our inward reactions--the reactions of  of our body (stress), negative emotions, mind/mental pictures, and  will/desires.

THE FASTEST WAY TO LASTING CHANGE.      The fastest way to lasting change is through changing our inward reactions. Remember, these are the reactions of our body, emotions, mind, and will/desires. Once we know what to look for and can identify our reactions, we can begin to change them. And, good news! If we learn to work with our inward reactions, we can retrain ourselves to stop repeating the same mistakes. Even better, when we know how to change our inward reactions, we can change our deep beliefs and choose our behaviors. We can actually rewire our brain.

In my book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be - The Choice-Cube Method, you will find, among other things, tools and 4 steps to help you recognize, and work through, your inward reactions and deep beliefs. Click here to see inside the book http://amzn.to/Ug268G. You can retrain yourself, change and grow, and engage life more fully. Also, click here http://www.choicecube.com to check out my website and learn about the method.  Copyright Dr. Beth Blevins Cujé 2011