Shadow And Light
Shadow
Going into the shadows happens to us when we feel unsafe. We're become defensive, even if we are unaware of it. Going into the shadows is normal, a part of life. Getting stuck there is the problem.We may even have learned the hard way that becoming inappropriately defensiveness undermines and hurts us, even destroy our connections with others.
The Subconscious Mind Rules Shadow
In the shadow, instincts or habit patterns stored in our sub-conscious mind take over and control us. We are chaotic or rigid, unable to see the whole truth--the big picture. Our primary concern is to avoid discomfort and pain or to feel in control again.
We often act automatically, mindlessly doing the same things over and over, relating to others in the same old hurtful ways. God seems non-existant, impotent, unloving, or far away.
Inward Reactions - Choice-Cube Framework/Cubi - Clue You In
You can tell whether you are in shadow or light by paying close attention to the inward reactions of your body (stress), emotions, mind (thoughts and pictures in your mind), and will/desires--your Cubi.
Inward Reactions - Choice-Cube Framework/Cubi - In Shadow
Body in Shadow: We are tense, agitated,or collapsed.
Emotions in Shadow: We are emotionally negative.
Mind in Shadow: We are mentally off-balance. Things seem all good or all bad. Or we are
double minded, helplessly swinging back and forth between the two.
Will In Shadow: We want to avoid or control people, situations, and problems in
inappropriate ways that lead to impulsive and compulsive behaviors.
Or we seem paralyzed--unable to act.
Going Into Shadow Is Part Of Life
Going into the shadows is normal and adaptive when there is a genuine threat to our safety and well-being or to the safety and well-being of those we love. Going into the shadows is maladaptive and hurtful if:
- we go there because of an imagined threat or
- we go there and get stuck there.
In Shadow We Are "Split Off" From Ourselves
When we are stuck, we seem compelled to repeat thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that give us the illusion of safety (isolating, seeing ourselves as better than others, refusing to admit when we are wrong). When this happens, to some extent, we are split off from ourselves, others, and from God if we are believers.
Light
Being in the light is meant to be our normal way of life.
In the light, we are fully present. We see reality clearly and we have hope.
The Conscious Mind Rules Light
In the light, we feel safe and at rest. Our creative, problem-solving conscious mind is in control. Instead of becoming inappropriately defensive, we stay open and curious. If we are believers, we feel rightly connected within ourselves, to others, and to God. Our primary concern is to get to the truth of difficult situations with compassion for ourselves and others. And we express the best of who we are -- who we were meant to be.
Inward Reactions In Light
Body in Light: Our body responses are relaxed, but alert.
Emotions in Light: Our emotions are positive.
Mind in Light: Our mind relects flexible and balanced thinking (we see both negative and positive
sides of people and situations--the big picture) and freely choose what we focus on.
Will In Light: Our actions are based on a clear picture of reality and the best of who we are.
Is Worth The Effort? Yes, Indeed.
Getting to the light often requires effort, but being in the light is the way to integration and growth, emotional, physical health, and healthy relationships.
Please take the Choice-Cube Method Self-Assessment Quiz to find out whether you are more in shadow or in light.