Doomed To Make The Same Mistake One More Time?

JEN’S STORY Jen is plagued with feelings of guilt and regret. She can’t control her rage. Last night, she yelled at her youngest child again because he accidentally spilled his juice on a brand new tablecloth. She hates herself for it now.

She has promised herself over and over that she’ll never do that again. But then another little accident happens, which sends her over the edge. Her son is 5-years-old, for crying out loud! He’s still terribly clumsy, Jen understands that. Now. But she didn’t see it that way last night.

IS SHE DOOMED? Is Jen doomed to react with rage? Is it simply who she is? Of course, not! She can change!

EASIER SAID THAN DONE But it’s easier said than done. What Jen doesn’t understand is that no matter how hard she tries to be more patient with her son she will not succeed unless she changes the beliefs and the inward reactions that cause her angry outbursts.

Her reactions (stress, negative emotions, thoughts and desires) and her angry behaviors result from some painful “unfinished business” and distorted beliefs -- things too painful to bear locked away in her subconscious mind. Only a real conscious effort will enable her to change them.

OUR TASK The task is to make what is subconscious conscious. But why? Isn’t it better to just leave these painful things alone? Why bring it all back to the surface?

Unless we make some things conscious, we are doomed to make the same mistakes. Hopefully, there comes a time when we realize we don’t want to keep making the same mistakes. We want to change.

HOW DO WE MAKE SOMETHING CONSCIOUS? But how do we make something conscious? Answer, start with our body sensations and emotions. Usually, when dealing with the subconscious, our mind is not our friend! It just gets in the way. Our mind may be telling us things are okay, but our body--our gut--is saying, “Watch out!”

At this moment, our conscious mind is not what we should be paying attention to. If we are wise, we will learn to pay attention to signals from our subconscious that surface as our inward reactions.

THE FASTEST WAY TO LASTING CHANGE The fastest way to lasting change is through our inward reactions. Remember, these are the reactions of our body (stress), negative emotions, thoughts, and desires. Once we know what to look for and can identify our reactions, we can begin to change them. And, good news! If we learn to work with our inward reactions, we can retrain ourselves and stop repeating the same mistakes. When we know how to change our inward reactions, we can change our deep beliefs and our behaviors. We actually rewire our brain.

In her book, Become the Person You Were Meant to Be, Dr. Beth Cujé sets forth tools and steps to help you recognize and work through your inward reactions and deep beliefs, among other things. Check out her website http://www.choicecube.com to get idea of what the Choice-Cube Method can do for you. You can retrain yourself, change and grow, and engage life more fully. Copyright Dr. Beth Blevins Cujé 2011

Switch Off the Automatic Pilot — Do Something Different!

Picture the typical family dinner scene. Doug and Tina are enjoying a nice, quiet meal with their four-year-old son. Suddenly, little Timmy spills his glass of juice. Doug jumps up, shakes his finger at the boy and shouts, “What are you? Stupid? Look what you’ve done!”

SOMETHING GOES WRONG Little Timmy is bewildered. What he doesn’t understand is that his Daddy went through the same thing as a little boy. His father relentlessly verbally abused him over little things like a spilled glass of juice.

Of course, when Tina confronts Doug with what has just happened, he feels bad for yelling at the poor kid. But he can’t stop reacting this way. What’s Doug doing here?

A ROBOTWEB? Doug is caught in a “robotweb”– a habit pattern–that involves every single part of him: his physical sensations, his emotions, his thoughts and his behaviors.

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Are You A Slave To Your Reactions!

Todd and Claire are fighting. He’s angry... furious. He can’t seem to make Claire understand how her complaints hurt him. Claire is bewildered. She did not complain. She simply mentioned to Todd how important it was to finish painting the bathroom.

What’s going on here?

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The 8 Emotions You Would Do Well To Let Go Of Right Away

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